OR Sometimes You Gotta Fart.
This is the continuation of last week's post on my lecture:
"Moving Meditation for Mental Health in Juvenile Justice."
"Let's look at the second overriding principle for teaching in the Academy.
Regardless of where they are and what they have done, they deserve respect.
Respect is a two-way street.
You cannot demand respect, nor can they demand respect.
If you talk down to the students, aren’t your most genuine self or dismiss them, things will NOT go well.
BUT if you give them the opportunity to feel they are heard, cared about, that their lives have meaning, and show you have faith in them…you see miraculous things happen.
I start and end every class with a circle of respect.
Here is how the circle works:
We gather into a circle in the center of the room.
We put our hands in prayer position, namaste, or what I like to call balance position, at our hearts.
We bow to the center of the circle in respect for the space in which we practice.
We bow to each other.
We bow to the teacher and the teachings.
We bow to ourselves.
At the end of each class we do the same circle of respect but the last bow is:
We place the left hand over the right fist and we step back.
In the words of Lao Tze " do your work, then step back."
They remind me if I forget the circle.
They like the ritual and the opportunity to show respect and be respected.
This is how respectful one of my students was in class one day:
I do a couple of one-on-one classes for students who really, for whatever reason, cannot handle being in a group class. It could be peer pressure, intimidation, or insecurity. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter.
I was in a one-on-one session with a student. We were sitting across from each other working on a breathing technique.
Our eyes were closed, but at one point I could feel that he was no longer sitting across from me.
I opened my eyes and he was standing across the room in a corner. (He had gotten up SO quietly that I had not heard him. I just sensed him.)
I asked him if he was all right.
He said "I gotta fart."
For a little reference: My class takes place in the evenings, after recreation, dinner and showers. So things will happen after a meal.
After I quickly composed myself, I told him that was ok.
He said "It's a biological function, right? Better than holding it in."
That reminded me of the scene in the movie Shrek where he farts and then Fiona farts.
"Better out than in I always say, right Fiona?"
He was waving his hands behind him. He said he didn't want it to smell.
I told him not to worry about it and when he was ready just to come back to his seat.
He did and we carried on as usual,
It happened again at the end of the class.
We both handled it like it was nothing.
AND IT WASN'T!
He had respect for me, more than he was embarrassed to fart.
It's normal biology.
Just perfect...and classic.
Some teachers at the Academy work together. We nurture and support one another and exchange invaluable information.
The work can be stressful and demanding and rarely, if ever, the same from one class to the next.
Anyone can have a challenging class, or more than one, and it helps to be able to bounce things off of each other.
I have collaborated with the mindfulness, manners and civility and the rhythm and drumming teachers.
It takes a village.
And in that village no one cares if you fart."
Come back next week for Part III of this 3 part series.
As always, thanks for reading.
See you next week.
This is an excerpt of a talk I gave for Compassion in Action, an initiative of Compassionate St Augustine.
The talk was on “Moving Meditation for Mental Health in Juvenile Justice”.
Here is part one of three parts.
"I teach a form of moving meditation to the residents at the St. John’s Youth Academy Juvenile Justice facility.
That form includes Qigong - I am a certified Qigong instructor - Kundalini yoga, movement, breathing and energy work, readings from inspirational leaders, and the playing of Tibetan and Crystal singing bowls.
What I want to do above all else is to talk about my classes and my students at the Academy.
SJYA is not only a juvenile justice facility but it specializes in rehabilitating residents who are also challenged with mental health issues.
Imagine (for the first time) being buzzed through a front gate surrounded by 20 foot fences, and topped by barbed wire.
You enter the lobby and sign in with the front desk manager. He or she sits at a bank of video screens. They monitor every hallway, every room, except for the resident’s private room.
It is eye-opening and easy to get turned around in the facility.
Getting from hall to hall only happens via a large, round set of keys or being buzzed in and out of each hallway.
The entire facility is on video surveillance.
That being said, I never feel at risk for my safety.
I know there are residents who act out but anyone who really causes damage or harm is sent to a different facility.
This is a high security, not a maximum security facility.
When I talk about mental health in the facility I don’t look at it as just the mental health of the residents. I look at it as the mental health of the staff, too. I discuss that in part three of this series.
For several years Sequel Youth and Family Services has been the management organization for the Academy. In the past it was strictly a punitive facility like the majority of facilities in the United States.
Today it is rehabilitative.
I know for a fact that offering them rehabilitation and life skills IS making a huge difference.
What I teach is from years of experience as a meditation practitioner, training as a teacher, then exhibiting the knowledge, education, and training to be certified a “master”.
In my training, I studied the psychological, emotional, and mental ramifications of meditation work.
I am experienced in teaching former incarcerated adults, seniors, in the LGBTQ community, veterans, youth, tweens and teens, and those in recovery.
I, personally, came to meditation because of a very stressful and high pressure career in entertainment.
*Hit the “ KaZ Welcome” tab above to learn more.*
How did I get to the Academy?
My relocation from California to Florida brought me to Compassionate Saint Augustine and the Youth Academy.
CSA and its founder, Caren Goldman, introduced me to SJYA and their director, Orvando Freeman.
From the very beginning they embraced me as a healing art teacher. Luckily, I have their trust and support.
My first eight weeks were a trial by fire. I won’t kid you.
At that time it was determined that the the newest residents needed my teachings the most.
That didn’t mean they would be the most receptive.
As a matter of fact, only one or two from that group actually went on to take the class with me on a regular basis.
Most weren’t ready, especially to do something that seemed really weird. They were simply trying to adjust to being incarcerated.
Qigong? That sounds like a medical condition.
"Have any of you heard of Qigong?"
No one had.
"Have you heard of Tai Chi?" A few hands went up.
I explained that Qigong is the mother of Tai Chi. Lightbulbs went on.
“OK, did you know that Tai Chi is the mother of Kung Fu? Who has heard of Kung Fu?”
Hooray! Everyone had heard of Kung Fu. Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Chow Yun Fat.
I had an IN!
I relayed to them my experience as a stunt person in film and television and that helped connect the dots.
Still, the difficulty of maintaining a class that accomplished anything was hit and miss.
A few students were into it and the rest wanted to rap, dance around, play videos, get under each other’s skin and look out the windows to see what everyone else was doing in the pod (area).
More than that, they wanted to make sure they weren’t being watched which might later lead to ridicule.
To do my best to get through to residents and find those who might be interested in the class, I came up with the idea to pick students from each pod via recommendations from the staff and management. Potential students they thought were ready to take this type of class.
Since then I have found the perfect number of students for a dynamic class.
It doesn’t get out of hand with too many students or students that really DO NOT want to be there. One person can't represent themselves as the leader the others follow to be cool.
There are the overriding principles I have discovered work beautifully in the classes:
3) Go with the flow.
This week let’s look at TRUST:
These young men can smell someone who is a fake or deceptive from a mile away.
Our energy is reflected by our emotions and our behavior.
It took months of working with the same students week after week for us to trust each other. Not because I was fake or deceptive but because they had been disappointed over and over again in their lives.
"Are you coming back next week? You're not coming back, are you? When will you be back? Can we do X, Y or Z again?"
AND I had to trust they weren't going to behave inappropriately.
New students began to request to be in the class.
Word spread about the class because residents heard I was “OG”.
WHAT does "OG" mean? Yeah, I had no idea, either.
Here’s a little story:
I have silver hair. Long, silver hair. It used to be blonde.
I stopped coloring it when I was on an extended trip to Europe.
I said “what the heck - get past your ego, take better care of your hair and don’t listen to the naysayers who tell you their opinion about silver hair making you OLD." (Even friends can be unkind! But then are they really friends or is it about them? That's another post entirely.)
As my son told me “You do you, mom.”
I had a lot of silver growing in so I decided to match the length and make it silver, too.
Some silver hair tint or dye makes the hair purple or blue for a while until the color washes out and all that is left is silver.
I think it’s pretty cool.
I was teaching one night and one of my students, being honest (sometimes brutally, but you learn to go with it) said:
“Hey Ms. KaZ, is your hair purple?”
I said, “Yes it is. I like it. What do you think?”
He said (while snapping his fingers) “It’s OG, man, OG.”
I don’t know if they could tell from my "fake it ’til you make it" expression that I wasn’t up on the slang.
Was that good? Bad? Something else?
Later that night I looked it up and the definition is:
"Original gangster or original gangsta (OG) may refer to an individual (regardless of criminal affiliation) who represents ideals the speaker sees as gangster and generally "tough" or "hood" in behavior, looks, or both as well as a connection to the past or being older: commonly used as a sign of respect.” Wikipedia
It was a thumbs up. I was my true self regardless of what others thought.
Just like my son said, I was being me: they saw that and they liked it.
Things were never the same after that.
There were times they told me they trusted me and said they hoped I knew I could trust them.
Some residents get written up for things that happen in their daily life at the facility and I would NEVER know it by their behavior in class.
If the director hasn’t told me about the write ups I only see what is in front of me in class. Well behaved, dedicated, focused students.
Students who teach me as much as I teach them.
Students who laugh and cry with me.
Students who confide in me.
Students who want to discuss what's on their minds.
I NEVER ask about their lives, or why they are incarcerated. They trust me enough to share that with me, knowing I won’t judge them.
I DO, however, let them know when I feel they're out of line.
I discuss with them how to stay out of juvenile justice or jail.
I listen to their dreams and aspirations.
I have boundaries, too. Friendly and firm when necessary.
My rules are: if they are not intending to harm themselves, someone else, or me, what they confide in me is held in the strictest of confidence.
The technique I developed combines elements that work consistently in every class with the students, and trust is one of the elements.
It works like a charm.
It is still evolving.
I’ll reveal HOW in one of the next posts in this series.
Come back next week for Part II of the three part series.
As always, thanks for reading.
See you next week.
What is all the analyzing, contemplation and rumination really doing for us?
Why do we insist on holding the diamond in our hand and looking at every angle inside and out - examining every single facet?
Do we really see it at all?
Are the sleepless nights and the anxiety worth obsessing about the outcome?
Or obsessing about what was?
I’m sure you’ve heard a million times that "the past is the past".
We can’t change it or revisit it.
Look, I’m not going to be a broken record.
We’ve heard that projecting ourselves into the future is just wasted time.
We can plan for the future, and by that, I mean financial planning, vacation planning, family planning and the day to day stuff can be planned.
We drive ourselves nuts with "if this, what about this, this or that?
It’s a waste of energy. It’s a waste of our brain power.
There so many things we can address and think about in the present.
My take is that everything is revealed when it needs to be revealed.
Everything turns out one way or another.
Like it, or not.
All of our planning, the attempts to control the outcomes or control people, are for naught, to use an old English word.
It's actually a really good word.
We spend so much of our time planning and postulating, and deciding EXACTLY how something is supposed to turn out only to be disappointed when life throws us a curve ball. OR gives us another result.
How do we know that the result ISN'T better than the one we were married to in our heads?
Take, for example, our idea of the perfect person or mate.
He or she has to have a certain look, drive a particular car, be this, do that, have this...an entire laundry list of "must haves" or it's a deal breaker.
How many really wonderful people have passed us by because we were only open to someone "this tall, with this color hair, of this age, with this career and this much money..."
That is only ONE example of "figuring it out."
"BUT I have to figure this out.“
What’s to figure out?
You can figure out a mathematical equation but can you figure out your life?
What if we replace “figure out“ with:
Our minds are exploding trying to figure out our lives in both the minutiae and in the grand scheme of things.
My work in Qigong and my studies in Taoism and Buddhism have made it glaringly obvious that "go with the flow" is the best course of "action".
Who wants disappointment?
Everyone is disappointed at one time or another in his or her life.
Even when we aren't trying to "figure it out"; when we are simply living life.
That is hard enough.
Can we be more flexible?
Be like bamboo? Strong and bendable in the wind and with the elements.
Life is messy and unpredictable. Anyone who says it isn’t is living with their head in the sand.
Just ask a really good parent or someone who teaches young people.
If we can’t make adjustments on the small and the large scale we are dead in the water. We find ourselves doing a remarkable amount of troubleshooting.
We are paddling upstream with one oar most of the time.
Anxiety is based on the “what ifs” and depression is based on “what happened?”
It's exhausting to be continually living in a state of figuring out our next move, the best tactic, or how to navigate the changes of the tides.
Go with the tides instead of against them.
Granted, some things are navigable, especially when we’re going with the flow of the stream, river or ocean.
Even difficult circumstances, like working for a cause or fighting injustice, seem to be an uphill battle.
KEEP YOUR WITS ABOUT YOU.
Water effortlessly flows over and around rocks. Sometimes it makes a big splash, sometimes a tiny ripple.
Flow like water.
Do whatever you need to do, then let things evolve.
Watch the answers present themselves without the need for you to push and pull your life.
When you give the answers time to reveal themselves, imagine how much freer you will feel.
"BUT I've GOT TO figure it out!'
What if you don't?
As always - THANKS FOR READING!!
See you next week!
KaZ has been in many facets of entertainment, plus the co-owner of two restaurants, a fitness center, a television production company and the owner of a cinema. She did a stint in politics (she won't be doing that again anytime soon), and in veterinary medicine, She now focuses on writing.
In addition to the above, KaZ is an award-winning vocalist, a former dancer, stunt actor, circus artist, & professional water skier. She has worked as a theater artistic director & writer.
KaZ has been a published writer in magazines & books since the age of 15. She has written plays that have been produced in New York, Florida & New Orleans. She has a featured chapter in the book How To Survive A Move. (Up-to-date she has moved 45 times!) KaZ wrote an article for Organic Wine Journal, and also an article featured at the Ground Zero Memorial.
KaZ co-wrote 2 television informational series & 3 television pilots.
One of the pilots, a sit-com, was produced as a reality pilot. KaZ has revisited it and it's now a one season cable series.
“(And ) Then This Happened.” is based on life, love, and everything in between in the mid-life years. Loosely based on her life and the life of two of her best girlfriends.
KaZ's many high pressure pursuits led her to meditation.
She began studying meditation in '91. Her initial training focused on Kundalini Yoga with Yogi Bhajan and his teachers. She is a certified Master Meditation and Qigong Instructor.
Most recently KaZ taught in a juvenile justice facility, and lectured on mental health in juvenile justice.
With writing being her first love, look for KaZ's upcoming children's books
from the mind of two grandmothers.
Plus, a play based on letters from her two great uncles during WWII.